As I Remember to Choose Me

I remember my first experience on the Gulf, not being shocked by the coolness of the water, but by its warmth—like stepping into a bathtub. To cool off, I had to stand and hope for a breeze. This was so different from the Atlantic, where I spent a lifetime knowing each wave would bring an exhilarating, cold shock from my toes to my shoulders. I would always anticipate each jolt as I ventured deeper, never questioning whether to dive in. Fear never crossed my mind.

But this morning, standing before the Atlantic’s cool, beautiful waters, I realized just how much I had missed those waves. I had grown so accustomed to the gentle embrace of the Gulf that I hadn’t noticed how complacent I had become. As a bit of trepidation crept in, I asked the Atlantic to be gentle with me, bracing myself for the first wave. It greeted me with a crash, and I laughed, remembering how much I once loved that chaos.

Had I traded the adventure and spontaneity of the ocean for the chaos of life on land—one filled with pain and disconnection? Or was this a reminder from Mother Earth to see what I had been missing these last 10 years?

Who am I now? Who have I become, and where is the wave that will carry me to my next destination?

For the past few years, I’ve watched the ocean from afar—seven stories high, gazing at the sparkling waters that once carried me to myself. Somehow, I wasn’t ready to reconnect until today. It seems I’ve been building a new boat, one that has only been riding the waves of relationships—ups and downs that have reminded me of who I am, where I’ve been, and where I dare to go.

Now, as I put the finishing touches on that boat, I know I’m ready. Ready to unfurl the sail and push off into the waters once again, without fear but with even more excitement for the adventures that await. I long for the shocking splash, and as I dive into the beckoning waves, I feel fully anchored in myself—throwing off the “I can’ts” and “I shouldn’ts.” I’m reconnecting with me.

It’s time to set sail, my friends! I’m thrilled to be carried off to where I’m meant to go and excited to meet and connect with all of you along the way.

Many Blessings,

Cathy